COMMUNIKEYS
the keys to a healthy relationship
are all found in the communication
Each person and each relationship is unique.
Resolving any conflict will be unique too.
Mediation & Family Dispute Resolution (FDR)
Mediation is a formal process that supports people to argue without the argument getting out of hand. Many people find it difficult to:
1. Keep the argument moving forward without getting dragged back to the past. Mediation is future focused, so in 3-4 hours you can talk about:
- Why you want to resolve the issue your way
- What compromises will work so you are BOTH comfortable with the outcome and more likely to stick with it
- How this is going to be carried out so you are both clear on what is going to happen and not need to argue about this again
2. Stay calm and open to hearing what the other person is saying. Some people get defensive; others go on the attack. Either way, it is hard to find a solution to the problem unless you can keep control over your emotions
Mediators have tools to help you both stay calm and focused on resolving your argument leading to a much better chance that you will never argue on this problem again.
Family Dispute Resolution (FDR)
FDR is mediation specifically dealing with family law. Mediators in this area (FDRPs) need to have extra training to understand the best interests of children and how to protect them from imminent harm. FDR is a mandatory requirement before court processes can be initiated (under s60i of the Family Law Act) and FDRPs need to be accredited in order to do the mediation and/or provide a certificate so court is an option. You can look up your practitioner to see their accreditation in the Attorney General's website: FDRR Homepage - Family Dispute Resolution Register. I find it easiest to look under the surname of the FDR practitioner as the first name can be spelled differently.
Like all mediations, the decisions are left to the parents not made for them. The mediator will support you make the best decisions for your children by providing information about research and drawing out what you know about your children and what works best for them.
Child Inclusive Practice (CIP)
CIP is an optional extra in FDR allowing the children to be consulted in the FDR process. The children are not expected to make any decisions about how their care is managed; however, their views are shared with the parents so the parents can make an informed decision.
FDR Property Mediations
When separating, special attention needs to be paid to the division of the assets as there is only one attempt (except with permission from the Family Law Court). A mediation can resolve the bulk of the division, leaving the formal part for the lawyers and court.
Conflict Coaching
Conflict Coaching is a one-on-one process where you are guided through the skills you need to resolve conflict when the other person is not interested in resolution other than getting their own way. Often this will be in tandem with other courses such as PET or SOME or WCMT. It can also be useful when preparing for a mediation.
Parent Training
As Dr Thomas Gordon (creator of PET) says, ‘Parenting is the job for which we receive the least training’ and yet for most of us it is the most important job we will ever have.
Parenting Effectiveness Training (PET) is an extensive course of eight 3-hour sessions run during the school terms in Australia giving proven practical skills and a chance to practice them with coaching to ensure the best success in improving your relationship with your children.
For parents who are trying to raise their children after separation, it can be useful to learn how to Parent Effectively After Separation. This course is a blend of PET and Parenting After Separation giving parents an understanding of the new normal when parenting after separation as well as skills and coaching.
Strengthen Our Marriage Experience (SOME)
Divorce rates are as high as (or even higher than) 50% of all marriages in Australia. The number one reason people cite for separating from their partner are difficulties in communication.
Save your marriage (and the $00,000s it costs to separate) by enhancing your communication skills.
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I can’t thank you enough for your guidance and support throughout the mediation process. Your professionalism, patience, and ability to facilitate productive discussions were invaluable in helping us reach an agreement.
I truly appreciate the effort you put into creating a safe environment, and a fair and balanced process, and I am grateful for the clarity and resolution we were able to achieve with your help.
Thank you again- my boys and I are eternally grateful that we are able to stay in our house!
Mum of two boys (4 and 6yo)
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I really enjoyed the PET course that Ros ran. It made the chapter book on the course come alive.
I really liked the idea of active and passive listening so our children feel heard and the detailed steps to problem solve.
I was able to use PET concepts in terms of negotiating (Method 3) when to put up the Christmas tree. I was concerned about doing if just before house inspection and bits of stuff spreading on the floor but we came up with a solution where the tree could go up before the inspection but the tinsel could go on after the inspection.
Mum to three neurodiverse children (5, 7 and 10yo)
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We have been involved in many mediations over the years and this is the first time I felt the mediator really listened to us both.
Ros was neutral at all times and kept us focused on where we need to go for resolution.
I think we finally have an agreement that will work.
Dad to 2 children (9 and 10yo)